posted Oct 2, 2009 7:25 AM by Kris Roark
hee hee fun stuff!
You might be a lutheran if...
..your biggest fund-raisers are bake sales instead of bingo.
..every time something changes, the old one was better.
...you read your Catechism and start arguing theology with yourself because no one else is around.
..it's 110 degrees outside and you still have coffee after services.
..you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
..you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.
..a line item in the trustee's budget is "coffee maker maintenance."
..Commandment #11--If it's never been done that way before, don't do it.
..you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season.
..you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic.
...you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.
.. you pronounce the word Lutheran "Lutern."
..you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.
..you hesitate to clap for the church choir or special music because "it just wasn't done that way in the old days."
...you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.
..you tap a church visitor on the shoulder and say, "excuse me, but you're in my seat."
..you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you."
..when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."
..you think you're paying your pastor too much if he gets a new car for the first time in eight years.
..you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.
..it takes 10 minutes to say good-bye.
..doughnuts are in the official church budget
..the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.
...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.
..a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.
..during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.
..during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.
..rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guestbook.
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